Archive for the ‘Leadership’ Category

#42 Communication Self Talk Personal Motto

Thursday, May 29th, 2014

When things go wrong, what’s the first thing that pops into your head? Is it “I don’t get paid enough to put up with this?” Or “Why me?” We all have a personal motto, just that most of us haven’t said it aloud. Does it serve you or sabotage you? It might be something hanging on your fridge or it might be in your daytimer or even your screen saver.

Your self-talk can hurt or harm you if you continue to keep it negative. Switch it around with something like “This too shall pass.” Or my personal favorite “Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.”

Whether it is a cranky boss, miserable co-worker, aging parent, difficult child or spouse or nasty neighbor, what you say in your head will dictate the kind of day you have. Have some fun and ask others what their motto is. Post it where you see it and reframe your days.

Keep your self-talk postive. Would you say the nasty things you say toyourself to others? Of course not. Be kind to yourself.

 

#37 Stressed, Tired and Unhappy At Work?

Monday, June 3rd, 2013

“It’s not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted.”

Mary O’Connor, Romance Writer

I love quotes that make me laugh. That’s exactly what the one above did for me and then… it gave me a slap upside the head. Why are so many people SO busy and SO stressed and SO tired?  And why are other people, who are just as busy, happy and content?

I wonder if some aren’t like the mosquito, sucking all the blood out of others by negative attitudes and never looking within, for answers or help. If we keep pointing at others and pointing out how they are upsetting us, we will never stop and take an honest look at ourselves.

Do most of your sentences start with ‘but’?  Get rid of that word. Catch yourself and substitute the word ‘and’.  If ‘but’ is in your self-talk you might be using it to make excuses for your own behaviour.. ‘But he never listens to my ideas’. “But I was hurt at my last job, that’s why I won’t try again.”

How do you speak to yourself? Are you looking for trouble before it happens? Are you blaming the past? Are you setting yourself up for failure? If we keep enough negative words circling in our heads we become like the mosquito. People see us coming and they wish they could reach for the spray.

If you find yourself making sweeping negative comments, stop and ask yourself, ‘Is this true’, ‘what is true’. Those two phrases will help you reframe your thinking. Often we use phrases like ‘he ALWAYS’, or ‘she NEVER’, when in fact if you ask yourself ‘what is true’ the situation is far less earth-shattering.

When dealing with difficult people, we are told to ask questions for clarification. ‘What do you mean?’ ‘Why do you say that?’ Perhaps it’s time to point your finger back at yourself and ask yourself those same questions.

Learn to listen to yourself and think about what messages you are sending before you start to judge others. Ask yourself, ‘are you a bee or a mosquito’?

Joan Craven’s bookGot It! 21 Communication Tips for Busy People is available on Amazon and as a Kindle.

 

I Got It! #30 Would You Like Shorter Meetings?

Tuesday, January 17th, 2012

If so, cut yourself off. Too often we go on and on thinking the more information we give, the more the person will understand or want. (more…)