We spent Sunday evening in Emergency with my mother-in-law. It is a true window on being able to study people’s behaviour while under stress.  As patients lined up to speak to the triage nurse it was interesting to watch the interactions and see the reactions.

Some people were impatient and rude. Others were quiet and others were loud. The staff handled them all with patience and kindness. Once in the place to see a doctor I could listen in on the conversations and again I noticed which people really listened to what the doctors were asking and who just wanted to tell their story.

It appeared to me that the patients who listened, answered honestly and politely, had the doctor’s attention longer. Also when the nurses went in to attend to them, the interactions were much more pleasant and more time was spent.

It became evident that no matter how stressful a situation, if people try to put themselves in the shoes of others, their interactions and connections are much more positive.

Choose your favorite title from my updated Keynote Topic List and let me know why, in the comment section. (Look at the bar above this BLOG and go to Services)  I will put everyone’s name in a toque (it’s still snowy here) and pick one. You will win an autographed copy my latest book, Got It!

I was listening to a CD by Sam Horn, America’s Intrigue Expert, from her excellent program called Become One-Of A -Kind In-Demand Speaker and I began to think about titles in a new way. Let me know what you think. You may become a winner!

When you write a book you can never guess who will contact you or what parts resonate with readers.

I just had a phone call from a woman who used my just released book Got It! as her selection for the discussion. She said it was perfect because of the questions at the end of each chapter plus it only took her two hours to read. A couple of members hadn’t read it but could still participate as they could skim a couple of chapters quickly.

Each member had chosen a favourite chapter. The one that most chose was the one about authentic people and their favourite question to answer was “Who makes you exhausted and why?”  The next favourite was “Box Up Your Worries.”

Do you have a book club? What kinds of books do you enjoy?

I just chatted with a fellow writer Erica Jefferson. She was interviewing me for one of her upcoming shows. She was delightful. Her voice was animated and full of life and I loved her accent. Funny thing, she asked me where I was from as she could hear my accent too! Made me think how quickly we draw impressions, even when we can’t see a person.

What message are we giving off when we speak to someone? Are we enthusiastic and engaged? Are we good listeners or are we waiting for our turn to talk? Interesting thoughts for a Monday.

If you would like to learn more about Erica you can go to her website at http://www.beinspired-online.com/home/meet-the-founder/

Happy Monday!

Getting your books into as many libraries as possible is a great way to build momentum. Most public libraries will buy more than one copy so it just makes sense to make sure they know about your latest offering.  In Canada there are over 21,000 libraries so think about sales if each one bought 10 books.

1. First ask your friends and colleagues to recommend your book at their local library. Provide them with the ISBN #, Title, Author, Publication Date and Publisher name and contact.

1. While you can approach Canadian libraries separately, you might like to ensure that your book is available for purchase through all of the following:

Library Bound Inc http://www.librarybound.com/
Library Services Centre http://www.lsc.on.ca/
Whitehots Canadian Library Services  http://www.whitehots.com/

I’m sure there are compatible lists in the United States and as soon as I research it I will let you know the links. Good luck!

Just in case you want to recommend my book here is what you need:

Title: Got It! 21 Communiation Tips for Busy, Impateint People

Author: Joan Craven

ISBN: 978-1-60976-690-0

Publisher:Eloquent Books (January 2011)

Pubisher: Strategic BOok Group

Ordering information:BookOrder@AEG-Online-Store.com

The book is also available in the Kindle form.

Thanks for your help in getting the word out!

Do you work with someone who will not accept a new idea? Do they have rigid opinions? Here are a couple of phrases to try:

1. Agree with part of what they say, “Joan you are correct.  We have done it another way.  I’m anxious not to throw out what works. What I am anxious to do it think about efficiency and profitability so that we can survive and still all have jobs. Joan wouldn’t you agree that it is time to let this go and move on?”
2. Look at what comes next. ” Joan, look at it from the companies point of view. What are two important things to consider as we institute this new approach?

You want to respect the past yet take the best into the future.

One of my favourite coaching clients recently lamented “Why do these things always happen to me?” We both smiled and she said “Okay I know you are going to tell me to “reframe and carry on.” Bad things happen to us all and we are the only ones who can say “this too shall pass,” or “in the scheme of things will it matter in 5 minutes or 5 months.” “I must simply build a bridge and get over it. ”

(more…)

Yesterday I attended a thought-provoking workshop called Secure Footing in a Changing Literary Landscape. Some interesting tidbits I learned from writers and speakers Betsy Warland (www.betsywarland.com) and Kelly Duffin included:

• The future for writers is fantastic because we are now free to create our own books, forge innovative collaborates to produce books, promote our passion for our subject in unlimited ways and continually reinvent ourselves
• We will need gumption and adaptability to learn this new way of writing
• Many publishers are checking with big box wholesalers before they accept your manuscript . Saleability is what it is all about.
• Over the next 10 -15 years there will be a 10-12 million drop in readers as post- baby boomers pass away
• The average adolescent texts over 40,000 words per month
• I need to change the photo on my website because crossed arms means I’m not to be trusted
• One of the most trusted sources on the web are personal BLOGS

The Writers Union of Canada ( www.writersunion.ca) is running these workshops and I’m glad I attended. Made me think about new ways to market Got It!

Writing Got It! 21 Tips Communication Tips for Busy People and seeing it to completion takes patience – never one of my strong points. I like to do things quickly and move to the next. To think that at the end of August I had the book complete and 7 months later, it is finally out. I wasn’t sitting still during that time. It will soon be on Amazon and in the Kindle format.

There was lots to do. A group of my friends read the book and gave feedback, then there was editing, rewriting, approvals, checking and rechecking. Thinking about the cover design and title and working with a designer was interesting.  Then approving what words would go on the back cover, looking at the lay out and where there needed to be text breaks all took time and careful thought.

Plus because this is a joint venture I was working with a fantastic team at Strategic Book Group so again, others with much more knowledge in many of these areas than I have were part of the decisions. I enjoyed the fact we were a team and I had others working with me. My last book was self-published so I was on my own and the first book I wrote was with a publisher and I had very little control so this has been a new experience.

I still haven’t held Got It! in my hand. I can’t wait. Soon, very soon.

Unless you let people know that specific actions or words are upsetting you, they might never know. Our self talk can poison our hearts and heads and impair our work. When I am coaching, people will often tell me about hurts that were inflicted days,weeks or even years ago. I will ask, “does this person know you were upset?” Often the answer is “I would if I were them!” That’s not good enough.

The truth is that often someone has said or done something and your interpretation is quite different than what they meant.  They may have thought they were supporting you, or giving you some help or guidance and you have taken it to mean something different. You might have interpreted it that they didn’t think you were capable of specific work or they were showing you how much better they are than you.

If you were to stop and ask them, “why did you step in and help,” the answer may be surprising. They may have thought you were asking for help and so to support you they helped.  Too often we jump to a negative conclusion and then are upset about something that the other person hasn’t even thought about.

Another client told me her boss was mad at her and she didn’t know why. I asked how she knew and her answer was, “she doesn’t stop by anymore.”  I suggested she make an appointment with her boss and ask if everything was going okay.  She did and found out her boss thought she was so capable that she was letting her carry on with out interference.

So before you begin to stress about a situation, ask for clarification. Be honest and direct. Your life will be much better. If there is an issue you can fix it. Stop inflicting the present with yesterday’s pain.