Archive for the ‘Reframe’ Category

I Got It! #32 Want To Enjoy Change?

Sunday, May 13th, 2012

I’ve just spent two days with the fabulous Sam Horn, The Intrigue Expert and author of Pop!

The workshops were sponsored by the Calgary Chapter of CAPS and what a mind expanding experience.

I am thinking about all the interesting people I met and the words I heard and then puzzling how to put it all together into a “what’s next” for Joan. Aren’t I just the luckiest person to have that opportunity?

Change is like riding in a white water raft – you are floating along enjoying the scenery when all of a sudden you hit a wild rapid and you hang on for dear life and eventually make it through to hit those lovely calm waters again. Ahhh….. relax and then you start to anticipate the next rapid and begin to prepare……change – it is fun, exciting and it is scary.

Today I’m going for a three hour coaching session with Sam. I can’t imagine what I will come away with – it’s sort of like Christmas when you meet with Sam. You know it’s going to surprise you – you just don’t know how. It’s always thought-provoking and thoughtful in a way that causes you to smile and you go away with  an “I can do it” attitude.

I’m glad the sun is shining in my heart and in Calgary!

I Got It! #31 Coping With Change?

Tuesday, May 8th, 2012

How does one transition from a job they love to a new stage in life? That question has been circulating in my head for the past two years. Today I go public with my thoughts. I am no longer accepting new speaking and workshop opportunities. I am happily fulfilling the obligations I have for the 2012 year and passing my work to a talented woman who will bring her wealth of experience, knowledge and  sensitivity to the role.

It is a strange feeling to be declining work and not actively seeking more. For those of you who run your own business you will understand. We never know when the next opportunity will arise so to to say no or talk about change to clients, who you trust and enjoy working with, is scary!   And while it is sometimes daunting, it also feels right to me.

What will I do? Once a writer, always a writer so I will write and look for new ways to promote my book Got It! What will I write? So many ideas… to settle on one right now is impossible. Will it is be a book? Probably not in the form of my others. What form? Humm…good question.

Why now? Why not! So over the next months I will write about “the change.”  It just might help me crystallize  “what next.”


I Got It! #26 Would You Like to Reframe and Listen to Your Self Talk?

Wednesday, August 10th, 2011

I had an interesting chat with Erica Jefferson, host of Be Inspired,  in mid June about the power of words in communication. Do you listen to what you are saying to yourself? Are you striving for perfection, when good enough is good enough? As the summer winds up, you might like to hear a portion of the interview.

Just click on the following link:

Joan on Be Inspired radio show June 16, 2011

I want to thank Erica Jefferson for having me on her radio show – Be Inspired.

I Got It! #24 Can’t Get A Direct Answer? Quick Communication Tips

Saturday, July 16th, 2011

Doesn’t it drive you crazy when people won’t give you a direct answer? People who use noncommittal language such as ‘perhaps’, ‘maybe’ or ‘sometime’ are often avoiding being honest. For the receiver of the message you don’t get closure or direction. What can you do? Try phrases like “When you say ‘maybe’ what exactly do you mean?”  They may hedge so ask another more specific question like, ” What conditions would need to be met for you to be able to say yes?”  or “When you say ‘perhaps’ you are telling me you haven’t come to a decision yet.  Am I correct?” Then  you could say ” When will you be ready to decide?” or “What will it take for you to decide?” Then stop talking, look the person in the eye and wait for an answer.

The most difficult part is to wait for an answer. Sometimes if the person says “I don’t know” you can look at them and say “what would the answer be if you did know?” Your face must match your concern for an honest answer. While not perfect, I’ve tried this and it often works. Good luck!

I Got It! #22 Are You a Tired, Frustrated Family Cargiver?

Thursday, June 2nd, 2011

June 2011

Communicating with elderly parents or chronically ill partners is tricky. We have history, an already established pecking order and all of a sudden what has been a comfortable relationship becomes increasingly uncomfortable. We are no longer cared for, we become the caregiver. We have to make unpopular decisions. As one of my friends said, “Now, when I leave my parents I either feel guilty or upset.”

A caregiver is a family member or friend who provides unpaid care for a loved one living with challenges due to disability, illness, or aging. The Canadian Caregiver Coalition estimates there are 4.5 million caregivers today. (more…)

I Got It! #21 Want To Heal A Broken Relationship?

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011

We spent Sunday evening in Emergency with my mother-in-law. It is a true window on being able to study people’s behaviour while under stress.  As patients lined up to speak to the triage nurse it was interesting to watch the interactions and see the reactions.

Some people were impatient and rude. Others were quiet and others were loud. The staff handled them all with patience and kindness. Once in the place to see a doctor I could listen in on the conversations and again I noticed which people really listened to what the doctors were asking and who just wanted to tell their story.

It appeared to me that the patients who listened, answered honestly and politely, had the doctor’s attention longer. Also when the nurses went in to attend to them, the interactions were much more pleasant and more time was spent.

It became evident that no matter how stressful a situation, if people try to put themselves in the shoes of others, their interactions and connections are much more positive.


I Got It! #18 Want To Be Inspired?

Monday, April 11th, 2011

I just chatted with a fellow writer Erica Jefferson. She was interviewing me for one of her upcoming shows. She was delightful. Her voice was animated and full of life and I loved her accent. Funny thing, she asked me where I was from as she could hear my accent too! Made me think how quickly we draw impressions, even when we can’t see a person.

What message are we giving off when we speak to someone? Are we enthusiastic and engaged? Are we good listeners or are we waiting for our turn to talk? Interesting thoughts for a Monday.

If you would like to learn more about Erica you can go to her website at

Happy Monday!

I Got It! #16 Want Help For Dealing With Difficult People Who Block?

Thursday, March 31st, 2011

Do you work with someone who will not accept a new idea? Do they have rigid opinions? Here are a couple of phrases to try:

  1. Agree with part of what they say, “Joan you are correct.  We have done it another way.  I’m anxious not to throw out what works. What I am anxious to do it think about efficiency and profitability so that we can survive and still all have jobs. Joan wouldn’t you agree that it is time to let this go and move on?”
  2. Look at what comes next. ” Joan, look at it from the companies point of view. What are two important things to consider as we institute this new approach?

You want to respect the past yet take the best into the future.

I Got It! #15 Why Do Bad Things Happen – Reframe!

Friday, March 25th, 2011

One of my favourite coaching clients recently lamented “Why do these things always happen to me?” We both smiled and she said “Okay I know you are going to tell me to “reframe and carry on.” Bad things happen to us all and we are the only ones who can say “this too shall pass,” or “in the scheme of things will it matter in 5 minutes or 5 months.” “I must simply build a bridge and get over it. ”


I Got It! #14 What’s Happening in Writing and Publishing Today?

Thursday, March 10th, 2011

Yesterday I attended a thought-provoking workshop called Secure Footing in a Changing Literary Landscape. Some interesting tidbits I learned from writers and speakers Betsy Warland ( and Kelly Duffin included:

  • The future for writers is fantastic because we are now free to create our own books, forge innovative collaborates to produce books, promote our passion for our subject in unlimited ways and continually reinvent ourselves
  • We will need gumption and adaptability to learn this new way of writing
  • Many publishers are checking with big box wholesalers before they accept your manuscript . Saleability is what it is all about.
  • Over the next 10 -15 years there will be a 10-12 million drop in readers as post- baby boomers pass away
  • The average adolescent texts over 40,000 words per month
  • I need to change the photo on my website because crossed arms means I’m not to be trusted :)
  • One of the most trusted sources on the web are personal BLOGS

The Writers Union of Canada ( is running these workshops and I’m glad I attended. Made me think about new ways to market Got It!