Archive for the ‘Resiliency’ Category

I Got It! #31 Coping With Change?

Tuesday, May 8th, 2012

How does one transition from a job they love to a new stage in life? That question has been circulating in my head for the past two years. Today I go public with my thoughts. I am no longer accepting new speaking and workshop opportunities. I am happily fulfilling the obligations I have for the 2012 year and passing my work to a talented woman who will bring her wealth of experience, knowledge and  sensitivity to the role.

It is a strange feeling to be declining work and not actively seeking more. For those of you who run your own business you will understand. We never know when the next opportunity will arise so to to say no or talk about change to clients, who you trust and enjoy working with, is scary!   And while it is sometimes daunting, it also feels right to me.

What will I do? Once a writer, always a writer so I will write and look for new ways to promote my book Got It! What will I write? So many ideas… to settle on one right now is impossible. Will it is be a book? Probably not in the form of my others. What form? Humm…good question.

Why now? Why not! So over the next months I will write about “the change.”  It just might help me crystallize  “what next.”


I Got It! #25 Sharpen Your Listening Skills

Friday, July 29th, 2011

When I hear clients recounting negative interactions with others I often say, when in doubt, say nothing. When upset it is best to listen and before answering or commenting, think before you speak. As many before have said, “you can’t regret something you haven’t said.”  When you do speak, think about your body language, your tone and then the actual words.

Saying ‘should have’, ‘can’t because’ you never’ or ‘you always’ will lead you down a path that is not good for your soul or your career. Each day we make a choice about how we will communicate. Only you have that power. Use it wisely.

Remember what Abraham Lincoln said, “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”

I Got It! #22 Are You a Tired, Frustrated Family Cargiver?

Thursday, June 2nd, 2011

June 2011

Communicating with elderly parents or chronically ill partners is tricky. We have history, an already established pecking order and all of a sudden what has been a comfortable relationship becomes increasingly uncomfortable. We are no longer cared for, we become the caregiver. We have to make unpopular decisions. As one of my friends said, “Now, when I leave my parents I either feel guilty or upset.”

A caregiver is a family member or friend who provides unpaid care for a loved one living with challenges due to disability, illness, or aging. The Canadian Caregiver Coalition estimates there are 4.5 million caregivers today. (more…)

I Got It! #21 Want To Heal A Broken Relationship?

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011

We spent Sunday evening in Emergency with my mother-in-law. It is a true window on being able to study people’s behaviour while under stress.  As patients lined up to speak to the triage nurse it was interesting to watch the interactions and see the reactions.

Some people were impatient and rude. Others were quiet and others were loud. The staff handled them all with patience and kindness. Once in the place to see a doctor I could listen in on the conversations and again I noticed which people really listened to what the doctors were asking and who just wanted to tell their story.

It appeared to me that the patients who listened, answered honestly and politely, had the doctor’s attention longer. Also when the nurses went in to attend to them, the interactions were much more pleasant and more time was spent.

It became evident that no matter how stressful a situation, if people try to put themselves in the shoes of others, their interactions and connections are much more positive.


I Got It! #19 looking For A Book Club Idea?

Monday, April 18th, 2011

When you write a book you can never guess who will contact you or what parts resonate with readers.

I just had a phone call from a woman who used my just released book Got It! as her selection for the discussion. She said it was perfect because of the questions at the end of each chapter plus it only took her two hours to read. A couple of members hadn’t read it but could still participate as they could skim a couple of chapters quickly.

Each member had chosen a favourite chapter. The one that most chose was the one about authentic people and their favourite question to answer was “Who makes you exhausted and why?”  The next favourite was “Box Up Your Worries.”

Do you have a book club? What kinds of books do you enjoy?

I Got It! #18 Want To Be Inspired?

Monday, April 11th, 2011

I just chatted with a fellow writer Erica Jefferson. She was interviewing me for one of her upcoming shows. She was delightful. Her voice was animated and full of life and I loved her accent. Funny thing, she asked me where I was from as she could hear my accent too! Made me think how quickly we draw impressions, even when we can’t see a person.

What message are we giving off when we speak to someone? Are we enthusiastic and engaged? Are we good listeners or are we waiting for our turn to talk? Interesting thoughts for a Monday.

If you would like to learn more about Erica you can go to her website at

Happy Monday!

I Got It! #13 Looking for Ways to Lower Stress, Save Time and Improve Relationships?

Tuesday, March 8th, 2011

Writing Got It! 21 Tips Communication Tips for Busy People and seeing it to completion takes patience – never one of my strong points. I like to do things quickly and move to the next. To think that at the end of August I had the book complete and 7 months later, it is finally out. I wasn’t sitting still during that time. It will soon be on Amazon and in the Kindle format.

There was lots to do. A group of my friends read the book and gave feedback, then there was editing, rewriting, approvals, checking and rechecking. Thinking about the cover design and title and working with a designer was interesting.  Then approving what words would go on the back cover, looking at the lay out and where there needed to be text breaks all took time and careful thought.

Plus because this is a joint venture I was working with a fantastic team at Strategic Book Group so again, others with much more knowledge in many of these areas than I have were part of the decisions. I enjoyed the fact we were a team and I had others working with me. My last book was self-published so I was on my own and the first book I wrote was with a publisher and I had very little control so this has been a new experience.

I still haven’t held Got It! in my hand. I can’t wait. Soon, very soon.

I Got It! #11 Did Your Know Negativity in the Workplace Costs Millions?

Monday, August 23rd, 2010

If  you think ignoring negative Nellie or negative Nathan will make them go away, think again! Many negative people don’t even realize they are negative and they can suck the life out of you.

While we are all negative sometimes, there are people who have made it their life’s work. If you are a manager you must confront this behaviour because negativity can cost your organization millions, if not billions, of dollars each year. It can lead to increased turnover, customer complaints, errors, accidents, and illness.


I Got It!#10 It Not Now, Then When?

Monday, July 19th, 2010

People often say they wish they could do something. Instead of wishing, why not make a plan and get at it? I have been working on a book about communications for the past two years. At various times I would devote two or three days and then life would get in the way. “The book” sat in a folder, often calling to me, however, it seemed all I could do was pick it up, read through what I had written and then I put it down again. I never got at it.

Finally I decided that I was constantly being distracted by “The Book.” It was like a virus, slowing me down because it was occupying a larger and larger part of my mind. I couldn’t get rid of it. So in June I put away most other things and devoted time to see it to completion. What a relief to finally put to paper what was circling in my head.

I hired one of my favourite editors to help me out and together we have created a product I’m proud of. Now the difficult process of finding a publisher begins. If I had continued to ignore the negative self-talk of “I should” or “I wish” I think my productive time would continue in a downward spiral. Now that I have that job completed, I am ready to tackle the next challenge.

How did I do it? Simple. I said to myself “If not now, then when?” Each Monday I wrote goals for the week. I make sure they are attainable and have a time limit. I even add in a time for relaxation which I never used to do. While I’m not always successful in completing what I set, at least I have goals and writing them down helps to keep me focused. When something new appears, I am better able to make a decision as to what I tackle and what I can add to next week’s sheet.

Is something occupying valuable space in your mind? Instead of stewing about it, and saying nasty things to yourself, make a plan right now. Yes right now! Say “If not now, then when?” and get to work. Ask yourself, What can you do about it? How? When? And get at it! It worked for me.

What projects do you have to complete? Let me know how you are doing.

I Got It! #9 Words to Say and Do When Someone Is Terminially Ill

Monday, June 21st, 2010

I have often wondered why some friends simply disappear when someone close becomes terminally ill or dies. Most will tell you later they didn’t know what to say, so they did nothing. Or it made them so upset they didn’t want to upset you more.

I know when people are uncomfortable and don’t know what to say, later they have enormous guilt. First of all  death is part of the life journey and you are going to have to face it over and over, the longer you live. To hide from it, only makes you feel worse and your friend feels abandoned.

There are two excellent books, written by Canadian authors to help you.  Final Journeys by Maggie Callanon, a hospice nurse, gives help for the person dying as well as caregivers, family and friends.  The other book is called Final Gifts and is by Maggie Callanon and Patricia Kelley.

Both books are filled with practical advice that will help you whether you have just learned someone is going to die or you are still experiencing grief because someone has already left you. The information is not sugar-coated, it is real and written in a caring, compassionate way.

You might think such books will make you feel worse if you are just going through or been through a death. I certainly did not find this to be true. Instead I felt comforted, some questions I had were answered and I felt better equipped to handle my emotions as well as those around me.

If you feel like you need or will need some support in your communication when you learn someone is terminally ill or has passed away, these two books will help you. Both books tell true stories and are packed with tips on what to do and say so you never again will abandon a friend in need.

I highly recommend both books.