Archive for the ‘Technology’ Category

I Got It! #9 Words to Say and Do When Someone Is Terminially Ill

Monday, June 21st, 2010

I have often wondered why some friends simply disappear when someone close becomes terminally ill or dies. Most will tell you later they didn’t know what to say, so they did nothing. Or it made them so upset they didn’t want to upset you more.

I know when people are uncomfortable and don’t know what to say, later they have enormous guilt. First of all  death is part of the life journey and you are going to have to face it over and over, the longer you live. To hide from it, only makes you feel worse and your friend feels abandoned.

There are two excellent books, written by Canadian authors to help you.  Final Journeys by Maggie Callanon, a hospice nurse, gives help for the person dying as well as caregivers, family and friends.  The other book is called Final Gifts and is by Maggie Callanon and Patricia Kelley.

Both books are filled with practical advice that will help you whether you have just learned someone is going to die or you are still experiencing grief because someone has already left you. The information is not sugar-coated, it is real and written in a caring, compassionate way.

You might think such books will make you feel worse if you are just going through or been through a death. I certainly did not find this to be true. Instead I felt comforted, some questions I had were answered and I felt better equipped to handle my emotions as well as those around me.

If you feel like you need or will need some support in your communication when you learn someone is terminally ill or has passed away, these two books will help you. Both books tell true stories and are packed with tips on what to do and say so you never again will abandon a friend in need.

I highly recommend both books.