I Got It! #26 Would You Like to Reframe and Listen to Your Self Talk?

August 10th, 2011

I had an interesting chat with Erica Jefferson, host of Be Inspired,  in mid June about the power of words in communication. Do you listen to what you are saying to yourself? Are you striving for perfection, when good enough is good enough? As the summer winds up, you might like to hear a portion of the interview.

Just click on the following link:

Joan on Be Inspired radio show June 16, 2011

I want to thank Erica Jefferson for having me on her radio show – Be Inspired.

I Got It! #25 Sharpen Your Listening Skills

July 29th, 2011

When I hear clients recounting negative interactions with others I often say, when in doubt, say nothing. When upset it is best to listen and before answering or commenting, think before you speak. As many before have said, “you can’t regret something you haven’t said.”  When you do speak, think about your body language, your tone and then the actual words.

Saying ‘should have’, ‘can’t because’ you never’ or ‘you always’ will lead you down a path that is not good for your soul or your career. Each day we make a choice about how we will communicate. Only you have that power. Use it wisely.

Remember what Abraham Lincoln said, “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”

I Got It! #24 Can’t Get A Direct Answer? Quick Communication Tips

July 16th, 2011

Doesn’t it drive you crazy when people won’t give you a direct answer? People who use noncommittal language such as ‘perhaps’, ‘maybe’ or ‘sometime’ are often avoiding being honest. For the receiver of the message you don’t get closure or direction. What can you do? Try phrases like “When you say ‘maybe’ what exactly do you mean?”  They may hedge so ask another more specific question like, ” What conditions would need to be met for you to be able to say yes?”  or “When you say ‘perhaps’ you are telling me you haven’t come to a decision yet.  Am I correct?” Then  you could say ” When will you be ready to decide?” or “What will it take for you to decide?” Then stop talking, look the person in the eye and wait for an answer.

The most difficult part is to wait for an answer. Sometimes if the person says “I don’t know” you can look at them and say “what would the answer be if you did know?” Your face must match your concern for an honest answer. While not perfect, I’ve tried this and it often works. Good luck!

I Got It! #23 Ice Breakers for Groups

June 9th, 2011

I am preparing a hand-out for a talk I’m giving and decided to put together my favourite ice breakers. They are large and small group activities that promote fun-learning. Some help listening skills, how it feels when change happens and ways to find common ground with a group. Here is an easy one. If you would like the hand-out please subscribe to my newsletter and I’ll be happy to send them out.

What’s In Your Wallet?
Choose one item in your purse, briefcase or wallet.
Tell your partner why that item is significant to you.

I Got It! #22 Are You a Tired, Frustrated Family Cargiver?

June 2nd, 2011

June 2011

Communicating with elderly parents or chronically ill partners is tricky. We have history, an already established pecking order and all of a sudden what has been a comfortable relationship becomes increasingly uncomfortable. We are no longer cared for, we become the caregiver. We have to make unpopular decisions. As one of my friends said, “Now, when I leave my parents I either feel guilty or upset.”

A caregiver is a family member or friend who provides unpaid care for a loved one living with challenges due to disability, illness, or aging. The Canadian Caregiver Coalition estimates there are 4.5 million caregivers today. Read the rest of this entry »

I Got It! #21 Want To Heal A Broken Relationship?

May 3rd, 2011

We spent Sunday evening in Emergency with my mother-in-law. It is a true window on being able to study people’s behaviour while under stress.  As patients lined up to speak to the triage nurse it was interesting to watch the interactions and see the reactions.

Some people were impatient and rude. Others were quiet and others were loud. The staff handled them all with patience and kindness. Once in the place to see a doctor I could listen in on the conversations and again I noticed which people really listened to what the doctors were asking and who just wanted to tell their story.

It appeared to me that the patients who listened, answered honestly and politely, had the doctor’s attention longer. Also when the nurses went in to attend to them, the interactions were much more pleasant and more time was spent.

It became evident that no matter how stressful a situation, if people try to put themselves in the shoes of others, their interactions and connections are much more positive.

 

I Got It! #20 Want To Win A Book?

April 20th, 2011

Choose your favorite title from my updated Keynote Topic List and let me know why, in the comment section. (Look at the bar above this BLOG and go to Services)  I will put everyone’s name in a toque (it’s still snowy here) and pick one. You will win an autographed copy my latest book, Got It!

I was listening to a CD by Sam Horn, America’s Intrigue Expert, from her excellent program called Become One-Of A -Kind In-Demand Speaker and I began to think about titles in a new way. Let me know what you think. You may become a winner!

I Got It! #19 looking For A Book Club Idea?

April 18th, 2011

When you write a book you can never guess who will contact you or what parts resonate with readers.

I just had a phone call from a woman who used my just released book Got It! as her selection for the discussion. She said it was perfect because of the questions at the end of each chapter plus it only took her two hours to read. A couple of members hadn’t read it but could still participate as they could skim a couple of chapters quickly.

Each member had chosen a favourite chapter. The one that most chose was the one about authentic people and their favourite question to answer was “Who makes you exhausted and why?”  The next favourite was “Box Up Your Worries.”

Do you have a book club? What kinds of books do you enjoy?

I Got It! #18 Want To Be Inspired?

April 11th, 2011

I just chatted with a fellow writer Erica Jefferson. She was interviewing me for one of her upcoming shows. She was delightful. Her voice was animated and full of life and I loved her accent. Funny thing, she asked me where I was from as she could hear my accent too! Made me think how quickly we draw impressions, even when we can’t see a person.

What message are we giving off when we speak to someone? Are we enthusiastic and engaged? Are we good listeners or are we waiting for our turn to talk? Interesting thoughts for a Monday.

If you would like to learn more about Erica you can go to her website at http://www.beinspired-online.com/home/meet-the-founder/

Happy Monday!

I Got It! #17 Want Some Quick Book Marketing Tips?

April 3rd, 2011

Getting your books into as many libraries as possible is a great way to build momentum. Most public libraries will buy more than one copy so it just makes sense to make sure they know about your latest offering.  In Canada there are over 21,000 libraries so think about sales if each one bought 10 books.

  1. First ask your friends and colleagues to recommend your book at their local library. Provide them with the ISBN #, Title, Author, Publication Date and Publisher name and contact.
  1. While you can approach Canadian libraries separately, you might like to ensure that your book is available for purchase through all of the following:

Library Bound Inc http://www.librarybound.com/
Library Services Centre http://www.lsc.on.ca/
Whitehots Canadian Library Services  http://www.whitehots.com/

I’m sure there are compatible lists in the United States and as soon as I research it I will let you know the links. Good luck!

Just in case you want to recommend my book here is what you need:

Title: Got It! 21 Communiation Tips for Busy, Impateint People

Author: Joan Craven

ISBN: 978-1-60976-690-0

Publisher:Eloquent Books (January 2011)

Pubisher: Strategic BOok Group

Ordering information:BookOrder@AEG-Online-Store.com

The book is also available in the Kindle form.

Thanks for your help in getting the word out! :)