Do It Now- plan for the future

If you are watching all the Back to School ads it might be time for thinking about how you can prepare for the next season. I have been skimming through a book called “Let’s Talk About Aging Parents.” It’s by Laura Tamblyn Watts, a Canadian, who is the CEO of CanAge, Canada’s national seniors’ advocacy organization. It was published in 2024 so is up to date.

I tease our kids saying I’m trying to stay ahead of them. It’s basically 27 conversation starters to tackle issues that may arise as we age. If you are thinking about aging in place the first section has some good tips on getting your home ready. Watts calls it age-proofing as compared to child-proofing. It also covers home care and then moving out. Part two, three and four cover topics like mental capacity, love, loss, horrible driving and health.

Some might find moving or down-sizing exciting. Others, she says, compare downsizing and/or moving to a month-long root canal! When you are thinking about purging it’s not necessarily the things that are difficult to part with, it’s the memories associated with them. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming just start small. Challenge yourself to attack one drawer, closet, etc. per week. 

As someone who watched as my husband had such conversations with his parents, this book would have been a perfect resource. When your child is thrust into the caregiver role it can be overwhelming. None of us want pressure put on our kids, nor give up our role as ‘the parent.’ I think we must put ourselves in our kids shoes and try to think of how we can support them as our roles evolve. 

If you are thinking about age-related issues, it’s probably time to consider what pressure we might be putting on our kids if a sudden medical emergency happens. It’s far better to be making decisions while we still can.

For most baby boomers, our kids are busy with careers, navigating their own children’s issues as well as their own aging….. they are the sandwich generation we all were 20 years ago. They are under lots of pressure in their own lives, so can we make it easier on them? 

Make sure you have had conversations with your prospective caregivers so they know your wishes. My parents did everything they could to take pressure off my brother and I. It wasn’t easy to tell dad he should no longer drive, but he had told us repeatedly to let him know if he hadn’t figured it out himself. So we did. He was shocked yet said okay and never drove again. They did grumble a bit, but at least we knew we had their permission to make the decisions. 

They had also told us that when we felt they should make a move into assisted living, to tell them. Again they were shocked, yet said okay. I know it wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t great for them because by the time they moved, they were not well and weren’t able to enjoy the activities and facilities as they could have, had they moved in sooner. Something my husband and I have discussed and will try to move before we think we need to…….

There is no correct way to age. It is as unique as the people we are. The important thing is to make a plan and let those who will be caring/advocating for you know of your wishes. If you have more than one caregiver make sure each one understands, so that doesn’t become an issue.

Once you have a plan, have informed those who need to know, carry on and enjoy!