When is the Right Time To Move or Hire Help?… the conversation you might be avoiding

A topic my friends and I often chat about is when is it the right time to downsize or move into an independent living facility? I think the answer is about one year sooner than you actually think.

One friend said she wanted to move when she was healthy and could enjoy the facilities and make friends. Her mother had warned her that she had waited until she was into her nineties and the other residents weren’t interested in making new friends., especially ones with limited capacities.

Another set of friends moved when they were both still well. They wanted the other one to feel comfortable and be supported should one spouse pass.

These friends are in places where they feel safe, supported and have a vibrant social time. They participate in exercise classes, go to entertainment events and are able to have meals when they don’t feel like cooking. Everyone moved when they were in charge so made their own plans. While at some point they might expect to rely on family and friends for extra help they are content that they did all they could to make the transition easier.

So when is it time to consider a change?

1. Recovering from an illness or an injury. Perhaps the answer is to access Home Care or hire a private caregiver. It’s been my experience that while this sounds perfect on paper it is not easy in real life. There are long waiting times for home care and private caregivers are expensive and not easily accessed.
2. No longer safe to drive. If we were of the generation where we would book an Uber or taxi, pressure would not be put on friends or family. It’s been my experience that most of us don’t want to spend the money, yet think nothing of imposing on fiends or relatives.
3. I remember my doctor saying that many of his elderly patients existed on tea and toast. I found three days worth of Meals on Wheels meals in my in-laws fridge when a crisis finally had my father-in-law going into the hospital and my mother-in-law living with us. If you are struggling to prepare meals it might be time to think about a move. Or to get in-home help.
4. Living in isolation. Social interaction is huge for anyone and especially seniors. Not only can social isolation increase a person’s risk of dementia and depression it significancy reduces the quality of life. We all need to laugh and chat. If you are spending long days alone with just your television, you might think about a change.

It’s a much better idea to make an unhurried decision about a move or hiring help. If you are relying on a family caregiver, consider the stress they might be under. Often a caregiver is diagnosed with one or two chronic conditions while undertaking this stressful role. Are you willing to put your caregiver’s health at risk?

Be in charge of your own path. Tour some places. When my husband and I, and later my brother and I, were looking for places for our parents, as soon as we walked in we got a feeling. Our friends say the same thing.

There are many agencies to assist seniors. Look into some and interview them to see if they would be a good fit. Ask about cost, how long staff have been with them, and the actual services they provide.

Is there a magic age for a move or change? Unfortunately the answer is no. No one wants to lose their independence. I know seniors in their 80s who needed care while some 90 year olds are thriving. It’s complicated and many factors must be considered. Every situation is unique. Begin your conversation now.