Don’t Let A Crisis Dictate Your Next Step In Your Aging Journey

As I sat in the airport waiting for my plane I overheard two ladies chatting. They both appeared to be in their 80s and were comparing life stories. Surprisingly they began to talk about where they lived. 

“I’m in an independent living coop,” said the first. “We are expected to volunteer so I garden, help out in the tuck shop and tidy the community kitchen when it’s needed.”

“Well I don’t think I’m ready for that yet,” said the other. “I’m able to drive, although I stay close to home and only go out in the light. I still do my own gardening and I get my kids to help out now too. “

They continued to chat and then as the boarding was called I watched the lady who lived in independent living pop out of her seat unassisted and walk to the plane. The lady who was still in her own home struggled to get up, grabbed her cane and purse and hobbled to the plane. Her ankles were the same size as her knees and she looked to be in pain as she walked.

After my last blog, good friend reminded me there were some important things I neglected to mention when considering a move into independent living, assisted living and long term care. Her comments rang true as I was witnessing it first hand at the airport. 

First she said mobility plays a huge part in your decision to move.  After her first back operation she could no longer comfortably ride her bike, golf or play pickleball. Even walking more than half a block caused pain. She had to depend on family and friends to help her maintain her home.

 She had a second surgery to correct the issues and while it is considered successful she still is limited in her abilities. What shocked her was she lost her core strength.  After consultation with her family she decided a move was needed – one where she has her own suite, with bi-weekly house cleaning and meals if she wants. There are also exercise classes, a physiotherapist and other services easily accessed. If she doesn’t feel like driving to the market there is transport available.

She says that one of the most important points to consider is strength and balance. The four letter word as you age is FALL. One fall can drastically change your life. If you are having difficulty walking, getting up from a chair or out of bed look into taking strength and balance classes. She attends a strength and balance class every morning and has noticed improvements.

As a single, active independent woman she said it was time to think about her caregiver(s). Will a move remove some stress that your caregivers might be feeling? I thought these such wise words as I thought back to the ladies at the airport. 

While she says moving to independent living was the best move for her at the time there are disadvantages too. Because you are with people who have physical restrictions or chronic conditions she has already lost new friends. She also misses chatting with different age groups although her new friends have fascinating life stories. 

She also said it’s important when you do move to participate in activities. Get out of your apartment or suite and force yourself to chat with others. Go to meals and learn the stories of others. If you like books, there is probably a book club. If you enjoy cards, look for a group. Do not isolate.

She also noticed that there is a certain social stigma when you tell people you live in an independent living facility. She felt uncomfortable sharing the news at first. Now she looks at friends struggling and is glad she made the move.

She ended by saying if you want to stay in charge of your life, move sooner than you think. It will take courage and adjustment yet you will know it is best for everyone.